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When Mrs. Emily Post penned her first etiquette book in 1922, she offered a guide to appropriate anniversary gift giving for the first, fifth, tenth, fifteenth, twentieth, twenty-fifth and fiftieth years of marriage. Gifts in the early years of marriage were small remembrances, or tokens, such as paper (1st), wood (5th), and tin (10th). In later years of matrimony, gifts gained value, including crystal (15th), china (20th), silver (25th) and gold (50th). Mrs. Post commented on the light-hearted nature of early anniversary gift giving, saying "the paper, wooden and tin presents are seldom anything but jokes. Crystal is the earliest that is likely to be taken seriously by the gift-bearers."
By the time her etiquette tome was reprinted in 1957, Mrs. Post commented on the growing importance of wedding anniversary celebrations in America and the greater trend toward gift giving by family and friends. She reported that the traditional gift list had been expanded to include more anniversary years, and that modern alternatives to traditional gifts had become socially acceptable.
The traditional and modern anniversary gift guides have changed very little during the past half-century and include recommended gifts for each of the first fifteen years of marriage and for every five years after that.
Year Traditional Modern
1st Paper Clocks
2nd Cotton China
3rd Leather Crystal or Glass
4th Fruit or Flowers Appliances
5th Wood Silverware
6th Candy or Iron Wood
7th Wool or Copper Desk Sets
8th Bronze or Pottery Linen or Lace
9th Pottery or Willow Leather
10th Tin or Aluminum Diamonds
11th Steel Fashion Jewelry
12th Silk or Linens Pearls
13th Lace Textiles or Fur
14th Ivory Gold Jewelry
15th Crystal Watches
20th China Platinum
25th Silver Silver
30th Pearls Pearls
35th Coral Jade
40th Rubies Rubies
45th Sapphires Sapphires
50th Gold Gold
55th Emeralds Emeralds
60th Diamonds Diamonds
Whether the giver selects from the traditional or modern gift list, anniversary gift giving offers opportunities for creativity and originality. The first year anniversary is often difficult for those who prefer to give traditional gifts. But with a little creativity, paper can be a lovely and memorable gift for a couple celebrating the first year of marriage. Token gifts can include anniversary cards, designer decorated paper plates and napkins, books and elegant writing paper. For those searching for a larger gift for a special couple, first year paper gifts can include tickets to events or certificates for romantic dinners at favorite restaurants. The gift giver might elect to combine traditional and modern gifts, presenting the anniversary couple with a certificate for a weekend stay at a country bed and breakfast accompanied by a sleek, modern travel alarm clock. For a very special couple, remember that airline tickets to faraway resorts are printed on paper, too.
For most gift givers, the traditional list offers the most challenges. But it also offers opportunities for giving truly thoughtful and exciting gifts that will be remembered for years. One gift giver facing the fourteenth anniversary of her sister and brother-in-law was stumped by ivory. For the previous thirteen years, she had used the traditional list as her guide. Giving from the traditional list had, in fact, become her own tradition. She was not about to let it end. After much thought and browsing through stores and on the Internet, she settled on a set of twelve ivory colored dinner napkins in a heavy patterned silk. The gift was a hit and the tradition of giving traditional gifts was maintained.
Anniversaries are a special time for the couples who celebrate them. They are made more special by the thoughtfulness of friends and family who remember the couple with gifts --large or small, traditional or modern. Start your own tradition by remembering anniversaries and marking them with traditional or modern gifts, or creative combinations from both lists.
Traditional and modern gift combination ideas for the early years:
1st - Combine a gift subscription to a morning newspaper with a bedside alarm clock. (Paper/Clock)
2nd - Fold brightly colored cotton napkins inside oversized his and hers coffee cups and saucers. (Cotton/China)
3rd - Accompany a set of beer glasses with tooled leather drink coasters. (Leather/Crystal or Glass)
4th - Place a bouquet of seasonal flowers in a blender or other kitchen need. (Fruit or Flowers/Appliances)
5th - Combine a wood serving block pretty enough for a party table with cheese cutters or other silver serving pieces.(Wood/Silverware)
6th - His and hers golf clubs are one way to combine iron(s) and wood(s). Or present a couple's favorite candies in a velvet-lined wooden keepsake box. (Candy or Iron/Wood)
7th - Accompany a woolen "throw" or blanket in a rich plaid with an antique or reproduction lap-top writing desk. (Wool or Copper/Desk Sets)
8th - Pair a pastel linen tablecloth or placemats with pottery dinnerware for casual dining. (Bronze or Pottery/Linen or Lace)
9th - Place a leather cushion on a willow (rattan-like) chair or foot stool. (Pottery or Willow/Leather)
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